Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Finding Ways to Celebrate Daniel's Birthweek
Today is the day before Daniel's thirteenth birthday. Friends have been worrying that shortly this will be the first Mother's Day since his passing, but really, Mother's Day is not on my screen of days to fear. Daniel's birthday, however, is likely to be very difficult. It symbolizes not only the first birthday since his passing, but the beginning of his teen years that he is not here to have or to claim. Somehow I know he has attained teen years and lots of wisdom, but it still makes marking time here, the way we embodied humans do it, difficult.
Normally, our family celebrates a birthday on the first Saturday after the day, because we are all home then. The birthday boy or girl normally opens a few presents on the day, and their family part is the Saturday. I was actually willing to celebrate on both days in memory of Daniel, but Matthew's driving school dates, which are quite a few, fit right over this time also. Daniel would love the idea that Matt will be driving soon. I decided that in honor of Daniel's birthday to buy a fair amount of boxed canned goods at Sam's Club and to drop them off at a local food bank. Daniel would get a kick out of his birthday being celebrated after his passing, and about good being done even though he isn't "in the flesh" to do it. We also plan to have a family lunch and birthday cake on Saturday as a remembrance. Today is the day in which I deliver the canned goods to the foodbank. I hope Daniel and my Dad can see what we are doing. On the actual birthday I also plan to make a fuss of all the animals who love Daniel so very much.