As Autumn Falls

Some months before Daniel's passing, I recall being very upset when I heard that Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman had just lost a young daughter in a terrible accident. Chapman, who as a songwright, describes clearly his love for his children and his wife, and chronicles the moments of their growth and especially the moments as the elder children prepare to leave the nest. He and his wife had adopted two young girls through international adoption, and judging from the video he posted of he and Maria washing dishes together, they are an extremely close family. On the day of a family gathering, young Maria ran out to the driveway to be accidentally hit by a car driven by one of the other children. Maria died at a major trauma center shortly thereafter. I remember praying for their family having no inkling that such a loss would befall us as well.....and soon.
If you have a chance to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's new song, please do. I have placed the lyrics below.


Heaven Is The Face by Steven Curtis Chapman

Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes
That disappear when she smiles
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “daddy please come play with me for awhile”

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for God,
You know, I just can’t see beyond the door
So right now Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for God,
You know, I just can’t see beyond the door
But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space

All the cancer is gone
Every mouth is fed
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed
Every lonely heart finds their one true love
And there’s no more goodbye
And no more not enough
And there’s no more enemy (no more)

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You
And we both run into Your arms

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream
It’s far beyond anything I can conceive
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see Heaven in the face of my little girl


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This week, as we come closer to the time of year in which we lost Daniel, I am falling again. I am finding it harder to remember why I must continue, why I must make Daniel and my father proud, and what there is left to achieve, with the other children grown.