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Thursday, December 24, 2009
My dearest Daniel,
You may remember that I placed a letter in your Christmas stocking last year, just 27 days after your passing. Last Christmas, we had gifts you'd helped to select and selected for us, and so it was very clear that you were with us for Christmas. This year has been lonely without you. It doesn't seem worth the preparation of Christmas if you're not here in the flesh to enjoy it with us. It helps to know that you look down each day and see what we are doing, and because of this, we try. We still have the tree and the decorations and all the music. We still delivered all the neighbor gifts (more this year) in memory of you. We still have your stocking up, and you are the angel on the star on the top of our tree....yes, a real one as you liked also.
Please know that we still bought you gifts. We will unwrap them tomorrow with the others. They are things you would have liked, that will be opened and placed in your room, and we will borrow them and remember you and all of the things you liked while you were here.
Please know we love you more now than we ever did. Each of us love you wider than the oceans and deeper than all the seas. Knowing we will see you again gives us strength in difficult times.
Mark is not doing well this evening. Our dear doggie is elderly and has had such serious health problems that I don't think he will see the New Year. I know if he passes, you and Dad will watch him as you do the other animals. I send Christmas wishes to Papa L, and to you.
Merry Christmas. I am so proud of you both.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Today I spent all day at the hospital. My eldest son Adam needed his impacted wisdom teeth extracted, and as a result of his Crohn's disease and cardiac history,(and for that matter, what happened to Dan) this necessitated an in-hospital, and in-OR surgery with the possibility of admission afterward, rather than the oral surgeon office procedures that my daughter and I had some time ago.
While he was in the OR and then in recovery for a lengthy period, I walked the mammoth hospital halls as I filled the pain med prescription his doctor had given me. This of course, was the hospital where Daniel's autopsy had taken place, and I walked right by those offices.
When I returned, Pegasus, the critical care helicopter and a large number of the staff were having a gathering. Although these were not all of the people who were there for Daniel's day, and for his passing, they remembered the case, from one year ago. They were very kind, and we recalled what had happened that day. They were anxious to hear how all of us were doing now. I now have a couple of Pegasus pins for Daniel's Pegasus cap which sits in his room.
How I wish, as we inch toward another Christmas, that something else had occured that day. It would be so wonderful to have Daniel here with us, rather than in the Heavens.
By the way, Adam did well, and seems to be recovering slowly.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
When Daniel was here on Earth, in his beautiful flesh suit, he was concerned about children who did not have permanent homes with their parents. He verbalized a number of times how difficult it must be for children to be in foster care. He was very appreciative that he lived with both of his parents and siblings, that we always had a roof over our heads, and that we had enough to eat and adequate clothing.
This difficult holiday season, please take a look at
Although Daniel never knew of this particular charity whose mission is to provide suitcases and personal items to foster children, so that they no longer tote their belongings place to place in a giant Glad bag, he would be excited about the work they are doing. This program is run by Connie Bellows who spent many of her own younger years in foster care.
This holiday season, love your parents, love your children, love your pets, love your friends, and love your spouse. I will leave the order of all of that to you.