|Even in grief, the happy memories should never end.|
This week I have spent some time taking care of my new infant grandson while his mother has been working, ensuring excellent insurance coverage for his cystic fibrosis. A great deal of his care is nursing care, rather than simple infant care. Much of it is also time consuming. Toward the end of the week while he was sleeping in the afternoon I had a chance to go through some things I've had in boxes. It is time to either decide to give some of the more lovely momentoes of our children's babyhood to my daughter, or to donate them. We simply can't keep everything, although believe me, sometimes I have tried ! It's time to free up more storage space, at the very least.
In one box I found a china half moon lamp which sat in my eldest son's nursery during the first year of his life. I found some pewter banks shaped like a carousel which were baby gifts for one of our children when they were tiny, although I am unsure who gave it to us, or which baby was the lucky recipient. I found all manner of child safe night lights. At the bottom of the box I also found a perfect framed picture of Daniel which oddly was taken at about the same age my daughter's baby is now. It was almost as if Daniel was wishing to say, "I remember when we were together and you were taking care of me at his age !" This framed picture sat in Daniel's nursery on the dresser in our home in the suburbs, until we moved to our first farm, and then, for a time, Daniel shared a bedroom with our other son Matt. Many of the things in his first room were simply never used again, and then so quickly weren't really age appropriate any longer.
I thought that perhaps in taking care of my grandson that the moments of caring for Daniel as a baby might blur, and I might forget details of Daniel's babyhood. Strangely, this has not at all been true. Just as my other children were, each of them are distinctly different individuals. In fact, caring for my daughter's baby has actually helped me to remember Daniel's babyhood in detail as well as the distinct differences between each of my children in babyhood just a short time in much more detail.
I am not yet sure what to do with some of the articles I found in the box, but the blond framed picture of Daniel at four months will have to go in a position of honor where I see it from time to time. Daniel, your beautiful flesh suit may not be on Earth now, but it was, and I plan to remember each of those days as best I can, through the remainder of my own days here on Earth.