Daniel's Uncommon Wisdom

          

         This week, a pretty blonde actress was televised receiving her Golden Globe award. She was obviously pregnant, but made a point of telling us that she believed that she wouldn't have been receiving the award had she not chosen to abort an earlier child, some time earlier, presumably in order to work on her career in order to attain the level of success she now had. It was a shocking thing to say, or even for her to believe.

              Of course, I have never been in danger of receiving a Golden Globe award.  When I look back on the few acting gigs I have had, other than voice acting,  I think I am about as an abysmal actress as I am a cook.  I had four biological children, and one child who came to us through adoption. There were foster children in between. For me, the most joyous and most important achievements in my life have been those children.  For me, no book, no record or CD, no job, no home or estate, no business, and certainly no award, is as important to me as having raised those children. Each of them have been true joys in my life, and I am really proud of each of them as young adults.   

             I was fairly young when I started to have children. My first two were born a year apart when I was just out of college.  My shower gifts had to be practical ones like diapers and wipes. I had no changing table, special toys, or cute clothes, other than shower gifts or gifts from friends. I struggled with pediatrician co-pays, and I missed work when they were immunized and became febrile. My life hasn't been a picnic. Our crib was a portable one that fit the tiny room we had for the kids then.  Each time a child was born, we had prospered somewhat, and I think we had an easier time financially, when our third and fourth children were born. 

              When Daniel, who was our youngest, was almost five, he asked me what an abortion was.  He'd apparently heard the word on television.  Since I always answer a point blank question truthfully to my children, or to anyone else, I explained that it was the removal of the placenta and the fetus from a woman before it could grow to the point of being able to live outside the woman's body.  "Why would someone do that?" he asked.   I tried to step carefully here, as I didn't need to tell a four year old boy all of the aspects of this complex issue all at once.  Instead I told him that sometimes there are very good reasons to remove a baby very early. For example, a woman with a serious medical problem that requires treatment that may not be possible if she is pregnant, sometimes necessitates a very early abortion. "Like cancer?" he asked.  It wasn't until a few years later that I told him that my aunt had chosen to give birth to her own son despite the fact that she required lifesaving treatment that required she was not pregnant at the time of treatment.  Then he said something I will never forget.

        "God is good", said Daniel.  "It only takes nine months from your life, to give someone else a whole lifetime," he said, in awe.

      "Yes, that's true", I answered. "And usually women are limited for only a portion of that nine months". 

            Daniel, of course, grew to know that sometimes abortions are done in the cases of rape or incest, or for a variety of medical problems for the mother.  I remember mentioning to him a twelve year old child who'd had a abortion in a hospital because her seizure disorder was badly controlled and that she was unlikely to survive a full term pregnancy, even if the baby had been placed for adoption afterward.   But I was glad that he understood what a gift and a blessing that a child is to a woman and to a family.  I told him how happy I was that I'd had all of my children and not missed out on raising them.

            There is no award that could have taken the place of having any of my children, but then, that's just me.  Even though Daniel departed this Earth at twelve and a half, there is nothing on Earth that would make me wish that I had chosen not to have him or to enjoy the twelve and a half years that he was right here within our family.