Tuesday, January 20, 2015

A Splash of Daniel

Sometimes, it seems as if the farm and the animals cry in Daniel's absence, a lot like the frozen holly. I hope he is doing something important where he is.

         I try hard not to look back at the time pre-2008 when Daniel was still on the Earth, and compare it too strenuously with the present day.  To me, his mother, it seems that life when he was on Earth was in color and one good thing happened after another. Following his sudden passing that day, it too often feels as if the color, the sense of humor and too much of the hope in life, evaporated with him.  I am very mindful that the loss of a child must be even more intolerable for the family without other children.  I have been fortunate in that we had three other children, and that we adopted a son the year following Daniel's departure. This gives us other souls to love and with whom to engage.  Sometimes, the spirit of Daniel is palpably missing from many family gatherings.

                And yet, once in awhile there is a special day.  Late in 2014, in the week that followed Christmas, our daughter and her baby were at the farm, along with our eldest son A., and our son Matt, who was home from the university.  J. who is our son who came to us through the blessing of adoption, was also there.  In just one block of time, I felt both Daniel and my Dad there for the gathering.  There was laughter and amusement. There were irreverent jokes and for a moment, I almost forgot that Daniel wasn't really here in the flesh.  The legacy of Daniel won't be a large family of his own, however it will be a family who was indelibly impacted by his intellect, his humor, and his music. Without my father, none of us would be here on Earth !   Yes Daniel, we are still here, and in many ways, so are you.

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