Saturday, December 8, 2012

I Don't Know How Else to Play It

      A friend of mine is a psychologist, and she made an interesting observation this week.   She said that we are "moving forward admirably but that she gets the impression that we are all trying to overcompensate for the vacuum left by Daniel's departure".   I would say that is correct.  She went on to say that sometimes, this can be a good thing.
            Since this is a forum in which I try to honestly look at each aspect of the loss of a child or loved one, I have to say that I don't know any other way of playing this.   If you look at Giada DiLaurentiis who lost a brother, would you attribute some of her success for living for him ?    What about Cindy Crawford who also lost a brother ? Is her success due to succeeding for them both ?  " Weird Al Yankovic" was fairly successful before both of his parents succumbed silently in their sleep to carbon monoxide poisoning.  He continued to be quite successful afterward.    Certainly, living your best possible life and strongly moving forward can be a strategy to surviving the loss of a loved one.  Is it pathologic ?   I don't think so.  I think that expecting us all to go back to the people we were before the loss of Daniel is unrealistic. We are not the same people, and we won't ever be.  Perhaps my feeling Daniel and my father with me and behind me helps me to realize that life is short, perhaps shorter than I had imagined, and that the things we really wish to do, ought to be planned for, and done.  And so we continue,  overcompensating perhaps, but moving forward, nonetheless.

This is Jim Brickman. The vocalist is Kristy Starling, a contemporary Christian Music artist.

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