Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Living Through and Past the Holiday

Wise Men Still Seek Him

   To those of us who only remember Earth and do not really know of Heaven, other than what we are taught from scripture or what we read, sometimes the system seems unfair.  We come to Earth and we believe that we are living good lives and that we honor God in our families and in our lives and then something inexplicable happens.  Many times, it seems to us as if Heaven is a greedy place, calling the kindest, the most talented, the dearest, and the most evolved, sometimes long before we would have considered it their time.
                  Of course, when I think about this, I am thinking of my youngest son Daniel, and as much as I understand that God has a purpose and a plan, on days like today, Christmas Day especially, in my simple human flesh suit, I can't understand why he is not here, opening gifts, seeking batteries and trading cash to other siblings for larger bills.
                   There is another family I am thinking of this day.  It has been one year since Ben Breedlove left for Heaven, and I know as evolved and as wonderful as his parents are, that this day must smart for them, just as it does for me.

(Please see my prior post on Ben Breedlove:

http://learnedfromdaniel.blogspot.com/2011/12/ben-breedloves-story.html            )

              This year, a lot of families lost a child just before Christmas.  A few were lost to cardiomyopathy as was Ben.  Some were lost to surmised heart rhythm disturbances like Daniel.  Others were lost to a violent act by someone elses child whose brain was ravaged by a mental illness.   In the end, it doesn't matter why they are not with us.   Daniel,  Ben,  and many other families must brave this Christmas not only without our child this year, but every year until we ourselves pass to Heaven to see them again.
              It's easy to have faith in God and in His plan and in Heaven when all is well.  It becomes much harder when we are challenged by something as truly horrific as the sudden loss of a child.   But then, and only then can we model what we taught our children.  If Daniel looks below and sees me living each day of my life destroyed by his departure, then how committed to the faith I taught to him, could I be ?   Instead, you and I must show our children who glow and dance in Heaven, that we do believe, and that we KNOW we will again be reunited when we too are called.   I must show Daniel that I love him as much as I ever did, and that the love we share is powerful enough to endure through the pearly gates or anywhere else his precious soul travels in the universe, at the direction of our Lord God.
                I must keep my faith, and I must spend the time I have remaining on Earth wisely, as God and Daniel would wish.  I know it seems like a tall order, especially when the loss is so fresh that it feels like an arterial bleed.  But you will.   You will for the sake and memory of that precious child who awaits you  in the morrow, and whose shining personality and joy could not be obscured even by the devastating moment of their death and passing from Earth.

 UPDATE: This is additional information on Ben Breedlove's legacy.



 For our own son Daniel, we had wanted to donate organs and tissues following his passing, but because his cause of death was not known or surmised for a long time, his organs could not be used for others. We are glad Ben and his parent's had this opportunity to donate tissue in order to help others.


  1. That was a beautiful post. I will strive to live my life purposefully in honor of Andy, as I know you do in honor of your Daniel. I wish a peaceful new year for you.

    With love,

    1. Thanks Pam, I know that it's all true. I know they are watching, and I know that Daniel is proud of me, just as Andy is proud of you, and the voice and the courage you have found. "The good die young" has such a deep meaning now. Love to you.


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