Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

           I must admit that I did not contemplate Mother's Day a great deal before losing a child.   I didn't need flowers, a dinner, or anything terribly special. I used to enjoy receiving a drawing and a handmade card from my kids, and I still treasure these.  I am pretty happy being treated well year round, and so I didn't really feel the need for a fuss on a particular day. After all, I have my birthday.
           However, after the loss of a child, Mother's Day becomes much more significant, much for painful, and a day to endure.  I can't even watch television without hearing about Shari's Berries, and how Mother's Day would be incomplete without them.   Mother's Day is incomplete.  It is incomplete because I am the Mother Duck in the song Daniel used to sing and shed a tear to, where one of the little ducks doesn't come back.  Of course, in the last verse, all the little ducks come back.   Sometimes our lifetimes seem very long before our little duck comes back.  Sometimes the days, and the days leading up to them, can be very hard. Today is one of those days.
           The little card above was found on the SUDC website.   It's a reminder that Mother's Day might be a happy day for many families, but for many of us, who have lost a child in this lifetime, it is a bittersweet day.
I send love, best wishes, and whatever wishes of happy memories I can to my sisters in grief this week.
Take good care of yourselves and of the children you have remaining on this Earth.

A great song for Mother's Day:   This Amazing Love

And Daniel, I am not sorrowful this Mother's Day.   I carry the joy of the memories of having raised as fantastic a young son as you !    I am so grateful for your having made the trip to Earth to be an important part of this family.


  1. Jane - i have honestly been thinking about you all day. and to be frank, i was sort of avoiding this website of Daniel's today because i kept thinking that if i just thought about it a little longer, then i could come here and leave you a comment that would make this day a little less bittersweet.

    i failed to come up with anything although i promise i tried.

    i am glad that you are not sorrowful today. you are a brilliant woman, a thoughtful and caring friend and i am sure i speak for all of your children when i say that you are an amazing mother.

    i will wish you a Happy Mother's Day as i am sure that Daniel would want me to. and i am sure that your other children are very happy on this day to have such a mother.

    thank you for your wonderful and warm friendship. it really means a lot.

    your friend,

  2. Thanks so much Kymber for the lovely remembrance of this day. It really helps to have friends remember. J. made a lovely card for me this morning, and for a child who knew many homes before this one, and for whom attachment is very hard, it means a great deal. Thanks for your prayers, your remembrances, your friendship, and for the sharing of your own remarkable life spent on the closest place to Heaven, which still has an Earth address.

  3. Jane - last Veteran's Day i made sure to get to Mamma Bear's blog to leave a message for her Marine. she replied in her comment that she was so grateful that a complete stranger would remember her Marine when neighbours, friends and family had not sent any msgs, phone calls or visits. that near broke my heart. and i have read your many posts here about how awkward friends and family can be. and avoiding. and other hurtful stuff.

    i am so happy that J has your family. it will be through the love of your family, and your honouring of Daniel by adopting J in the first place, that will see his troubled little soul through life.

    you and yours are never far from our thoughts, always in our prayers and i promise that when i am frolicking in the river naked, i will think of Daniel and smile.

    much love to you Jane. always.
    your friend,

    1. That is so very true. People might make a fuss in the beginning of an injury or a loss, but they forget quickly. It's hard to continue to be there when there seem to be no improvements or no resolution. I found that myself when a lovely woman who used to babysit my two eldest children when they were tiny, on occasion, had one of her adult sons move in with her forever after he was paralyzed from the neck down after a car accident. We used to keep in touch, but it became very hard to continue when there was one trial after another. He never seemed to stabilize and she really didn't have time for the phone or visitors. I ran out of words, and so I understand a bit when others do too.
      Thanks for your love and understanding.


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