A Birthday That's Never Forgotten

 

 

                                         This is a picture of how Daniel might look at 28.

 

 

 

                 Tomorrow would have been Daniel's twenty-eighth birthday had he remained here on Earth rather than departed sixteen years ago, of presumed sudden arrhythmic death syndrome at age 12 1/2.  Immediate CPR did no good in this instance, and when the sheriff brought the AED, too much time had elapsed.

           On these birthdays I always take a moment to think about what he might be doing had he remained, and how we might have celebrated this day.   Instead, I still man the fort, or the farm as it is, and try to find ways to keep sane, now missing two beloved sons from Earth, both Daniel and Matthew.

                 I still think of you an awful lot and I remember your conversations and thoughts you had.  Gosh Daniel, you were so intelligent and so wise.  No wonder God needed to call you home.

 

                This year, I am going to try to celebrate your life differently than with grieving.   Perhaps rather than being sad, and after sixteen years, I can simply celebrate your life and your time spent here on both the day of your birth, and on the day of your passing.  Lets see how that goes.

 

                 In any event, I am one day closer to seeing you again.  It's a fact I keep tucked in my pocket, a bit like a secret gift, but try not to talk too much about because it upsets the other members of the family.

 

 

                                                          Daniel departed Earth at 12 1/2

 

 

                 Happy Birthday, Daniel.    I love you wider than the oceans and deeper than the seas.

 

    Yes, I can hear you, but I doubt you could possibly "love me more" than I love you.

 

Finding Ways to Remember

Losing a child brings almost an unworkable quandary. One wants to blot out the last hours and the time surrounding the loss, and yet no one can really remember their child completely and fully without coming to terms with our last few minutes together, even if he may have been unaware of them. The time between my last post and now has been spent finding constructive ways to remember.
I remember that he loved our farm animals so I have been lovingly caring for them and helping them with what seems like their own animal grief. Daniel's fifteen year old German Shepherd, Jake, a rescue had a stroke several weeks ago. My time has largely been spent placing chux under the dog, and turning him every two hours during the day and less often at night. The dog has needed hand feeding and assistance with water. I have not had him euthanized as he is still comfortable and still hydrated. He also seems to understand and enjoy the attention. I have told him that when Jesus or Daniel come, that he is free to go with them, and that I will see him again when it is my turn. One evening, about a week ago, Jake's breathing seemed labored. I sat with him for awhile and when I got up briefly, he passed, easily and quietly. I had irrationally thought that I would somehow see Daniel picking up his dog, but of course, I either didn't or missed his brief visit. Jake was buried and had our customary lovely animal funeral on the farm a day later.








 #FindingMeaninginLifeAfterLoss, #LayeredLosses,#Grief, #Loss, #LossofPets, #AuthorKrehbiel,#Jane-AlexandraKrehbiel,#Daniel, #DanielofVirginia, #Rememberin