Saturday, July 4, 2009

Not Even Close

Before Daniel passed, I will admit that I almost never took even a passing glance at the obituaries. Being listed in the paper is what you did if you had a very old family member who passed, so that their family and friends knew, and also as a legal notice. When Daniel passed and the obituary appeared not only in the local paper but the state capital regional paper as well, I was shocked at how many people read it, knew or contacted us. It was comforting. I couldn't even as much as go into a bank without someone saying, "I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. XXXX" Now when I look at the paper, I never miss glancing if not reading the obituaries. It seems to me that if the families are suffering the loss of their loved one, then the least I can do, is read about it and say a silent prayer for the family and the person who has passed.
Today when I read the local paper which included the obituaries. Today, there was the obituary for the nineteen year old young man whose funeral we attended this week. In the paper there was a 27 year old man who's died, a number of people in their forties, a man of 52, and a 28 year old woman.
Sometimes I just wonder how God leaves some people here through one hundred and calls others before they have raised their children, or even grown. I don't understand. Today I am grieving my beautiful Daniel who would have wanted nothing more than a hot dog and to watch the fireworks this evening. This was a favorite activity of his. It seems to me that missing my father is an adjustment I have been preparing for all of my life, and somehow I am managing. I am not understanding why Daniel was called home, and I don't know when I will understand. I try to understand and accept, but right now, I'm not even close.

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