WHAT I LEARNED FROM DANIEL : THE BLOG ~~ Our loving, brilliant, and remarkable,twelve and a half year old son died suddenly, and without clear cause, the day after Thanksgiving, 2008. This blog is a window into how my husband, our children, and I learn what happened to him, and how we survive his passing from Earth. It is also a chronicle of the blessings that envelope us now. How we survive is documented both here in snapshot, and in our book, "What I Learned from Daniel".
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Sunday, July 12, 2009
To my bereaved friend Susan
As I may have indicated, I don't "hear from" Daniel too often these days. He does enjoy riding in the front seat on occasion when I drive my new car (that he incidentally picked), as it is such a departure from the cars I drove when he was here.) Our state does not allow people under 16 to ride in the front seat, and so now, Daniel can ride there whenever he wants, and sometimes, I am sure he does.
Today, I ran out of printer ink and had to make a mad dash to a major center to prepare some paperwork. It's a long trip through the countryside to the city. As I drove, I was aware that he was next to me enjoying the moon roof, and the beautiful day. We began our exchange. "I don't understand" I conveyed. "Ministers are supposed to help families deal with loss and the truth that our family members never die", yet Susan's minister tried to convey that the goings on of this Earth are of no interest to her son who has just passed. Why do they DO that ? Some of the most hateful and destructive things said to us were said by a few ministers. (Fortunately not our own) Daniel conveyed that ministers are trained by man and not God, and although they aspire to serve God, they sometimes fall short, just as we do. He said that it is taboo to pass along how wonderful things are in Heaven, because we do not wish people to stop working to care for themselves and their loved ones, and pass before they are intended, so we are all very careful about what we convey about Heaven. He thinks that some churches may pass this attitude in order to encourage those who remain here to invest in and live the remainder of their lives. I hope I can explain the next thing he passed to me clearly. He conveyed that although there is much to see, do and enjoy, and even meaningful work for us in Heaven, that we do not forget the most important elements of our lives. We still love and have concern for those we cared for when we were on Earth. We never outgrow each other ! Our love is more perfect, not less so. We just have perspective in that the trials we have here, do end and we are later reunited and happy. I told him that I would pass this along to you as best I could.
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I saw your opening comments on this blog that it is a memorial for your son's death. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
ReplyDeleteKim Carolan
http://walkingthroughthevalleyoftheshadow.blogspot.com