Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Count the Days

Grief is a strange thing. It exists in a time warp of sorts. In some ways we never leave the moment in which I found you without breath. I still hurriedly sign checks sometimes, "2008". I still have a lot of your clothes. The ones with special meaning will remain with me forever. Sometimes though, it seems so very long ago, and much has changed since you were here last if you mark things in Earth time, and I try, and I should. Since you left Earth, Mr. Obama has been inaugurated, and there have been more changes to the US than I think even you would have imagined. Both Stephanie and Adam was graduated from the university, and Matt has completed a year there. We adopted James and although it's hard, we do our best to invest in his future, although he is as fractured sometimes as we are. Jake, Sir Gallahad, and Mark have all passed to you. I try very hard to set the example which will allow your Dad and your siblings to continue and live the life they were meant to. However, sometimes, even with faith in God to beat the band,my heart is not always here. Dad was right. Losing him and losing you just after is more than I can do, and still be the same person. Sometimes the days flow faster than I can anticipate or manage them, like water from a sloppy waterfall. I count the days until I am back to you. I will do my best until then to make you all proud.

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