Saturday, April 27, 2013

It's That Time of Year, Once Again


    One of the ways I have found to remain interested and engaged in life following your departure, Daniel, is to live life, in a sense, as if you were here.  I think that in a way, living a life that you would have enjoyed or would have enjoyed seeing me enjoy, pleases you.  I believe that somehow you see what I am doing.   Consistent with that way of thinking was my choice to get the two horses, which I will tell a bit more to the blog readers about, in the future.   You always enjoyed the alpacas immensely. The horses are different creatures but also interesting.  They need us to be dominant and in charge, so they don't have to be, but they also have a very clear idea of dominance and who should go first out to the meadow grass as it sits there waiting to be eaten.  I can clearly imagine your taking a lead and walking these creatures out to the meadow, adjusting their halters, and grooming them.  Sometimes, I feel as if you are walking with me, not letting your lack of physical presence prevent you from enjoying this special time with these horses.  I feel my Dad with me also. An accomplished horseman, I remember all he taught me.  Well, almost all. I still managed to let the larger one step of my foot when I was putting opthalmic neosporin on his eyelid. Dad would have been smarter. I feel him watching me as I use a hoof pick and I remember all he said about how easy it is to be kicked by a horse.

              In a short time, it will once again, be your birthday.  You would be 17 years old, early in May.  It would be time to teach you to drive, and you would likely be dating some of the girls who always adored you from the homeschooling group.  Your friends are turning into young men.  My friend Carol's two sons whom you knew have several trucks over at their farm. I am pretty sure the boys are restoring them.
            Oh, I still have the yearning sometimes, the feeling that you should still be here, and that you should not have been called.  I do know that God had a special plan for you, and for the likes of Ben Breedlove, Taylor Dorman, JT Baptista, and Michael White.  He did not waste your lives.  Our Lord had something else, something pivotal that he needed you all to do. I know this, and I know that you are in exceptional company.  I just wish sometimes that you could have stayed with me.
             Happy Birthday, you beautiful young man, who was a creature of light long before you actually physically became a creature of light.

"You're Not Alone" Sarah Slean

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