Daniel's Overnight Appendectomy

           

Daniel's ward had light green walls and all brown blankets and room accents, a bit like hospital design by Target.

                    I had a strange dream last night.  I dreamed that Daniel was still alive, and, at age twenty-four, was still in college getting a PhD in one of the obscure aspects of computers. We had been notified that he was in the hospital and had just had an emergency appendectomy. When I got the call, I was simply pleased to hear that he was alive. Both my husband and I, and my daughter were driving in separate cars to come to see him.  My husband and I arrived at the hospital first.  The hospital was very full, and had taken a room that had intended to be a double room and had arranged the beds so that four people, all males of about the same age were in beds in the same room. It looked as if Target had decorated the room which had light green walls and brown room accents. It turned out that all of the patients in the room were about the same age, and all of them enjoyed computers and gaming. They had named themselves the "Nerd Ward".


                  Daniel seemed to be progressing nicely and it appeared that he might have found some new friends as a result of this hospitalization. The hospital was not entirely unfamiliar to me although I recognized that things there were running in an unfamiliar manner. Although no one mentioned COVID-19, I suppose that could have explained some of the things I saw there, and why staff seemed in such short supply.  Daniel's surgeon told me that he needed two units of packed cells and a couple of injections afterward, and that he could be discharged later that day. The problem was they didn't have the staff to do that.  However, if I wanted to administer the blood and give the injections, then the physician would complete the discharge orders and we could take him home.  This was strange because it's very unusual to need two units of packed cells following an appendectomy, even an emergency one. Still, I agreed so that we could take him home.


                    I don't know why I had this dream. I know that Daniel passed from this Earth twelve years ago now. I know that I miss him and wish I could see him at what would now be age twenty-four. I do wonder what he would be doing now. I also know that his siblings miss him very much, especially my daughter.  Sometimes I think that when Daniel died, the right time line was damaged, and that we have continued life in one that is not the correct one.   Still, it's strange to be dealing with challenges and life as if he is still here.   Still, it was good to see Daniel, in good health, successful, happy, even if he was temporarily in a hospital under admittedly strange circumstances. Maybe my own mind creates circumstances where I can see him and convey that we have never stopped loving him and caring.


                    I love you Daniel. I miss you, and I always will.