Thoughts in Autumn

This is not an easy time of year. Today we sit eleven days from the day that your body had to leave us, three years ago. That was a nicer autumn than this one. This autumn has been far wetter, and has even had thunderstorms, and the leaves are gone from the trees. In 2008, when you had to go, the Autumn was vibrant, somehow back- lit and brighter. The leaves remained on the trees in beautiful autumn colors, making the Shenandoah Valley look muted that year, in comparison.
This week I got around to completely cleaning out the vitamin cabinet. I tossed expired fish oil capsules, B-12 from 2010, Claritin from 2009. I found two small prescription bottles which had fallen behind the little wire shelves I have in there. They were prescriptions for you for fluoride tablets, which had been written by your pediatrician. From the look of them, you took about half and then misplaced them, and didn't take anymore afterward. I felt an exaggerated feeling of sadness, as I thought, "I not only couldn't keep my precious boy here, but I couldn't even see to it that he finished his fluoride pills, when he was here !" Maternal guilt is like that sometimes. I had finished cleaning and organizing the rest of the cabinet before I realized that you had only ever had one cavity in your short life, and that it left your mouth as a primary tooth, right on schedule. Sometimes this little traps come up in the course of my day. Most of the time, however, I am happy to see remembrances of you, or things you left here.
There is a very nice new Asian restaurant which has opened about 30 minutes from here. We were there yesterday, and I very much thought of you as we ate their cucumber salad, and then white meat General Tso's chicken. I think it would very much meet with your approval Daniel. If you and Dad want to come for a visit, you would both be most welcome. We are having the Thanksgiving at home that you always loved.

Daniel, the video below shows a deputy removing a deer from the road after she is frozen with fear following a minor collision with a car. I thought it might remind you of all the deer we have running around the farm especially at this time of year.