|Daniel, at about ten|
My eldest son, to my knowledge, has never been to this blog. I think he may be afraid of how he will feel and how sad he might be when he looks over so many stages of grief and so many thoughts following Daniel's departure. Each one of us copes a little differently, and this coping should be supported however we wish to proceed. My eldest son jokes sometimes, and says, "Are you working on your death blog ?" Since he hasn't been here he doesn't know that what we do here is only indirectly about passings. It is what we do after a great loss of someone we love, to use the time we have remaining, that really counts.
Somehow in the past three years since Daniel's departure to Heaven, I have managed to make 300 posts here. Some of them have been talking about the cascading feelings we have had following the untimely and unexpected passing of our youngest son. Sometimes we have discussed how each of us grieve differently and travel through different experiences in order to make sense of what has happened and move beyond those first days filled with grief. A few have discussed the challenges that losing a child presents. Sometimes we have discussed the dreams we have had where I feel......or I am SURE that my Dad and that Daniel talk to me, and encourage me, if not set out the paths before me, in order that I may make good decisions. Sometimes I have discussed how blindsided we can be by grief from simply hearing a song unexpectedly, or running into a friend of Daniel's when I am out. Sometimes, we have felt solidly within our new normal and have talked about how proud we are to have found and to be operational within it's confines. Also in the last three years, I have found time to educate our readers on matters of health, a few aspects of family preparedness, and to highlight the tragedy of how many children and teens still pass without warning from sudden cardiac death syndromes. We also shared a few observations and even a few insights concerning our adding to our family through adoption, as would have been Daniel's wish. We shared only what would have been comfortable for our newest son, we call James for the purpose of this blog. This year especially, we have also used this forum as a means of making our readership aware of at least three young adults who have been missing, while doing what young adults do, living a life while a college student. One of these young adults has been found safely, and we continue to pray for the safe location and return of both Ian Burnet, and also of Jonny Dorey. I have tried to make this blog, as much as possible, about hope and about faith as well. If one of these 300 posts has been a comfort or a help to you or your family in these past three years, then I am very pleased. It is in this small way that you too will see the generosity and the love we saw every day in the twelve and a half years in the life of Daniel.
|Daffodils are the unmistakable sign of Spring in Virginia, and also an apparent sign from God that there should indeed be another year.|
UPDATE: For the sake of correctness I should say that my eldest son has now been to this blog.