Friday, November 27, 2009

Coping on the first Black Friday

In some ways God has been kind. You passed the day after Thanksgiving a year ago, after coming in and speaking to us about the Christmas shopping which was to take place that day, and about what a wonderful Thanksgiving we had. Since this year, this is the day after Thanksgiving, then in a sense, this is the day you departed for Heaven. However, since Thanksgiving shifts a little each year and is the last Thursday of the month, it isn't the date you left. (The date your left via calendar would be tomorrow) It's as if God has spread out your leaving over this week, so that there is no magical moment where we feel the departure so acutely that we may wish to find the thinnest point in the veil between us, and go with you.
It is however, the first "Black Friday" since your passing, and you did indeed depart on "Black Friday". To me of course, this commercialized demi-holiday will always be something terrible and sad. It's odd to see the television rejoicing in "Black Friday" when it's such a dark day for us, and in a sense, it never was a special day for us. It has always been a dangerous day to drive, and so we tended to avoid travel on this day, including shopping, although we had planned to shop on it last year.
Black Friday symbolizes to me the worst of the Christmas holiday. The commercialism, rush, shove, and most of all the loss in America of what Christmas is about. It is "goodwill toward men", and not "Come one, come all, lowest season prices".
Thankyou for the dream this week. This week, I had a dream with Daniel. He was about five in the dream and it was a present date, and we both knew that he was really much older, but we knew that he was appearing this way to give me a message. He was lying in the bed in the room in which his sister normally occupies. The room was sunny and filled with light. The window was open and unlike our home, there were orange and lemon trees and other fruits growing outside the window. One could reach out and pick fruit. There was also a trench like a creek nearby allowing water to flow to the fruit. I came to tuck in Daniel. When I pulled back the sheet, there were tons of little toys and child's playing cards, Pokemon etc. around him in the bed. I told him he could not sleep with all of these, and so I took the time to take them out, place them on a table in the room and cover him with the sheet, despite all the bright light. I told him I love him and he told me the same. As I went to leave, he told me," Don't be sad at Thanksgiving. Don't think that I left at Thanksgiving. Think of Easter, think resurrection. I started life in Heaven at Thanksgiving." With that, I smiled and turned and left the room. When I awoke, I did not feel sad. I felt grateful for the message and as if I had seen Daniel recently.
I send love to both Daniel and Papa L. Holiday wishes to you all.

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