Pulling in to Autumn's Station

    

        October is here.  Once again, we find ourselves in the season of Autumn, a bit like a train which pulls into a particular station only  annually.  Had it not been that the passings in my family have always occurred in Autumn, with Daniel's being no exception, I think Autumn would be my favorite season.  The trees shed leaves in brilliant colors. Here, the days turn from the blistering heat here so often seen in Summer, and then the humans return to the outdoors. Once again we are clad in longer pants, thicker dresses and jackets. Autumn reminds me of returning to school, starting new projects, a beginning of sorts. I generally receive a burst of energy when Fall comes, no doubt designed to help me rake leaves, plan new projects, begin a new school year as either a student or as an instructor, and prepare for Winter.  In a rural community, Autumn is less about fashion as it might be in an urban center, and more about the changing of the Earth and the adaptations we must make in order to survive both financially, and with our animals intact through the Winter. Winters in my region can be mild, but they can also be severe some years. Sometimes we see feet of snow and ice storms which make animal care and travel impossible, especially in the more mountainous regions of our state. I do recall some years when the Winter was more like a mild autumn, without a single snow, and with light autumn-like rains.
          Late this Autumn, both Daniel and my Dad will have been gone from Earth for five years. Some days this feels like a very long time ago, and others, the hurt and seeming bomb blast to our lives seems very recent and very fresh.  I think this may always be true.
           This year, it feels as if we will have a severe Winter. We have higher numbers of squirrels than normal, and they are frantically storing acorns and stealing suet and seed from our bird feeders. Many of our trees decided to turn in early.  The Gingko Bilobas yellowed early.  Some of our trees turned red at least a month early.  Birds seem to understand the sense of urgency also.  Our large contingent of hummingbirds left for Central America a little early this year,   Other birds seem to be taking Autumn seriously.  The young cardinal group which was raised late this Summer has been working so hard to get suet, that they have it all over their young beaks !   All the signs for a bad Winter are there.  Soon, this will have implications for us as well, and we will need to ready vehicles and do some other things which better prepare the human beings for cold, snow and ice, and perhaps difficulties travelling.

     
 Perhaps I can reach the days in which my Dad and then Daniel departed for Heaven this year, simply knowing that they are safe, happy and enjoying all that is there.  Unfortunately, in four years I have not been able to reach a point where I don't see what I have lost, by their no longer being on this plane with me.
         We only receive so many Autumns in this life.  This year, try to appreciate the Fall colors, if you have them where you are. Try to appreciate the majesty and miracle of all of the living things knowing each year how to prepare to survive the Winters of their lives.  I think there is a lesson in there for us too.

Thinking of Those Who Remain from the Great Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami

            

           While I am cleaning, doing laundry and generally doing busywork, I listen sometimes to the news from different nations.  NHK News is news from Japan sent to us in English.  In general, its world news is very good and generally without bias.  It sometimes reports things about US News that our own news agencies seem to miss entirely. Today, after NHK News there was a program which profiled a man from Northern Japan who was on a business trip when the Great Earthquake of Eastern Japan occurred.  His wife, his two year old son, and his week old son survived the quake itself, but their entire apartment building was washed away by the tsunami.  The man had returned from the trip only to find his town, his family and his home gone, and unrecognizable. Of course, this man has been quite lost since. He was particularly upset because his week old son was born during his being away for work, and he never got a chance to hold him. The man clutched tightly to pictures of his family, including his sons, which thankfully still existed somewhere that was not destroyed. The man told the story that he was awoken from a dream by his sons who apparently went on growing and look like they are four and two now. They told him they are fine and happy.  This experience has allowed him to continue living a life on Earth, and even to volunteer as a surrogate dad to the boys who lost their parents or their fathers during the earthquake and subsequent tsunami.   The second story in this program was of a woman who lost her youngest son in the earthquake and tsunami.  She tells a moving story about how she knows her son was there while she and her other children celebrated her youngest son's birthday, supposedly in his absence.  These were touching stories about real people who knew devastation and loss, and yet know that they must remain on Earth and complete the tasks for which they were sent.  Some experiences and losses cross all the cross cultural borders. In a great many ways, regardless of religion and nationality, we are the same.






This is NHK's Disaster Recovery Song "Flowers Will Bloom"

Lyrics: IWAI Shunji
Music: KANNO Yoko
(Both are from Miyagi prefecture.)

 https://www.nhk.or.jp/japan311/flowers/about.html


Another version of the same song produced by NHK News


When I can get the English language version, I will try to post it here.

The English lyrics to the song are by:  Roger Pulvers

English lyrics:

My heart goes out to you.
When the Winter snows give way to Spring.
My heart is longing now
Longing for the town where happiness had been
Been a place of hope and of dreaming too
Been a home where my heart always went back to you
But for now, I only dream
Of the people who I loved and knew
Someone is singing, I can hear singing now
Someone is weeping, I can feel their tears

Flowers will bloom, yes they will, yes they will,
For you who are here or are yet to be born
They'll bloom, yes they will
And they'll bloom again until
There's no missing sorrow and no reason left to mourn

(Additional verses at score below)

The musical score to this song.

The Sudden Passing of George Boiardi

          

George Boiardi

 As I have said here many times, our son Daniel is thought, by the teams of pathologists who performed his autopsy, to have died suddenly from a spontaneous heart rhythm disturbance, which will have been five years ago now, this coming November.  Children, teens and adults all may die from a spontaneous heart rhythm disturbance without prior symptoms.
             Today however, we are going to talk again about a spontaneous heart rhythm disturbance and death which can occur following even fairly mild chest percussion or impact, called commotio cordis.
             Two years ago, 22 year old George Boiardi  (Yes, from the family who started Chef Boy-ar-dee) was playing lacrosse for his team at Cornell University.  He blocked a shot and was hit in the chest, causing a disruption of his heart rhythm which led to a  cardiac arrest which was fatal.

This is an EKG tracing of one heartbeat which shows the vulnerable window of when commotio cordis can occur.

            A relatively minor tap on the chest delivered accidentally at the correct time in the heartbeat can lead to a life-threatening arrhythmia or heart rhythm disturbance which all too often is not readily recoverable.  Besides CPR, the best chance a commotio cordis survivor has is an AED, but often, even an AED will not work to bring the heart rhythm back once it has ceased.   This is one reason an AED and CPR certified persons need to be an every sports practice as well as every game.

           There are a number of cases of this which have been covered in world news.  Remember that commotio cordis is the occurrence of a life threatening ventricular arrhythmia which occurs after a contact of mild, moderate or significant force to the chest of a person. This impact, with a ball, a fist or even an open hand, or even an attempt to demonstrate CPR on a live person causes the arrhythmia because it was delivered at coincidentally an essential period of rest or repolarization of the heart.  The effect is often devastating and permanent.

          There are multiple types of fatal spontaneous rhythm disturbances which cause death which can be completely independent of any type of coronary artery disease. Commotio cordis is only one type and it is the type which is caused by a known precipitant.
          We offer condolences to George Boiardi's family and his friends.

You can learn more about George here:     http://boiardifoundation.org/about/



This is more information about the foundation dedicated to George:     boiardifoundation.org


 

How God Used the Life of Peter Francisco

           

This is a miniature portrait of Peter Francisco

   I am grateful to God for Daniel.  I am so incredibly lucky to have such a loving and bright boy who knew such joy while he was on Earth, even if it was only to be for twelve and a half years.  One of the things I remember so well is that Daniel really liked living in Virginia.  So many times we would learn about American history, and then we would go somewhere like Hopewell, Williamsburg, Yorktown, or Amelia and he would realize that we were in the place being discussed by the history books.  Virginia played such an important role in the early history of the United States and was the birthplace or home of many presidents. Daniel was quite small when we drove past Limestone Farm which had been owned by James Monroe, and Daniel realized that we lived fairly near President Monroe's farm, at the time.  He was similarly in awe when we went to Appomattox or Williamsburg.  He was also really interested when he realized that Pocahontas in real life, came from our neck of the woods and that we knew direct descendants of her.
                  There is one story about American history that Daniel did not know, because I did not know about it in order to tell him.  I am going to share it with you instead, and I think Daniel will see this post, if for some reason, he doesn't already know this in Heaven.

                   A young boy named Pedro Francisco was born in the Azores to  wealthy Portuguese parents.  He spent time in a large home overlooking the sea where he and his sister watched animals in the sea.   Political enemies of his parents from Portugal are said to have hired pirates to kidnap him. Poor Pedro wound up being purchased from them by a sea captain who dumped the boy, at age five, on the pier at City Point, Virginia. (South of Richmond in the vicinity of what is now Hopewell, Virginia)   The boy was dressed in European finery with silver shoe buckles custom made with his initials. He spoke only Portuguese.  Patrick Henry's uncle, Judge Anthony Winston, agreed to take the boy who was being housed at the Poor House, in Prince George County, Virginia. They called him Peter.

                 Peter Francisco was a good farm worker. He was apprenticed by the family as a blacksmith, in part because he was extremely tall and muscular, even as a teen.  He was cared for and treated well, but he worked on the farm, but was not adopted as one of their own sons.  At 6 feet and 6 inches tall and 260 pounds in that day, he was a veritable giant.  Peter accompanied the judge, and Patrick Henry to the famous "Give me Liberty or Give Me Death Speech" at St. John's Church in Richmond,  as both extended family and perhaps also as a bodyguard.

               When Peter turned 16, he signed up as a soldier for the Virginia 10th regiment, and he fought valiantly.  At one point he was badly injured and shared a hospital room with the Marquis de Lafayette, with whom he became a lifelong friend.  It was Lafayette who requested that George Washington commission a specially made sword for combat for someone as large as Peter.   Peter became probably one of the first "Special Forces" soldiers that we have had in America.  He took on one difficult assignment after another, and is largely credited for winning a number of battles without which America would not have ultimately won  the Revolutionary War.  Peter also effectively spied on a particularly violent British general named Tarleton. Peter injured his soldiers when they attacked him to steal his silver shoe buckles, which he still always wore. The legend says that afterward, Peter took their horses, sold them all, and kept Tarleton's horse, riding him and calling him Tarleton.    Peter Francisco is truly one of the United State's founding fathers and yet for many years this was not taught in schools.  Francisco lived on a farm in Buckingham County, Virginia following the war.  He was not wealthy but was ultimately made the Sargeant-at-Arms of the Virginia Senate.

           Daniel would have been pleased to know that one more inhabitant of the Virginia towns and villages he frequented in his lifetime, played a role in securing the freedoms the United States ultimately knew.  Peter Francisco was by all accounts an orphaned child at five, alone in the New World. He didn't even speak English.  He came to a good family, but at first, he probably had more in common with the slaves of the household, than with the family members.  He also was not educated in the manner in which most of the gentry would have educated their sons in that day.  And yet, God used him, despite numerous serious disadvantages, to do very great and lasting things in the world.  This point would not have escaped Daniel.
            The many relatives of Peter Francisco have a great deal of which to be proud.


Additional information can be found at:


 http://www.peterfrancisco.org/        

http://www.peterfrancisco.org/aboutpeter.php

http://www.peterfrancisco.org/news.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Francisco



            
                  
                  

In the Quiet Moments

               

          Sometimes in the quiet moments of my life I think back, and I recall different passages of my life.  I remember, a bit more than a month before Daniel passed that my father was hospitalized in another city.  I had traveled there to remain with my Dad.  Daniel, my husband and the other kids made the trip that weekend.   When I saw Daniel, he had been crying.  He was very upset to see my father so ill.  I remember at the end of the hallway, far from my father, kissing Daniel on the cheek and holding him tight.  I remember telling him that Dad had been made my God and that if God called him home, that we needed to have faith in God's plan for him. I also told Daniel that I love him very much.   He seemed a bit better after we spoke.  As I held him that day, I remember wishing I could hold that moment in time forever.  My Dad was here on Earth, and Daniel was with me, and all my children, even those in college, were close. I wanted to hold time still.  I had no idea that the next month would bring so many challenges to my faith, and that my own faith in what God's plan for us might be.

                    God allowed many magical moments with both Dad and with Daniel before he called each of them, in an instant, one expectedly, and one so unexpectedly.  Sometimes I stand in awe that I, and our family have somehow still survived.  Daniel, I remember your flushed face and your tears that day. I remember our hug as if it were yesterday.  I can't go back to that moment, and redo it, taking you in that moment to the best electrophysiologist or interventional cardiologist I could find, to try to interrupt what I did not know was soon to happen.  I can't go back to that time.  Instead, I am racing forward through my life, taking care of your animals, your Dad, and your siblings and waiting for the moment when we all see one another again.  I still have so much to share with you.  I love you and miss you so.

"Through My Veins" Richard Marx

The Sudden Loss of Brandon Goyne

Brandon Goyne

         


    On January 18, 2013 Brandon Goyne, 20, a student at Louisiana State University in Alexandria was at baseball practice.  He was one of the younger team members, and was a sophomore outfielder, but the coach says he was a real standout there.  During baseball practice Brandon collapsed, experienced a cardiac arrest, and despite quick intervention, never regained consciousness.  Head Coach Brent Porche says that the team, had been overwhelmed by support following this tragedy.  There is no telling where Brandon's skill in sports and his zest for life would have taken him in the future.
           Normally, autopsy results are private and are not public record, unless a family chooses to release some information from one. Brandon's parents, Scott and Debbie Goyne, chose to release autopsy information in order to bring attention to this diagnosis.  Despite the fact that Brandon had two physicals in the months that led up to his sudden death, he did not have an EKG.  In Brandon's case, an EKG would have shown the diagnosis which caused his passing.   On autopsy Brandon was diagnosed with ARVD/C or Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia/Cardiomyopathy.     This is a more specific diagnosis of arrhythmic death of a young person, than we normally receive.  It is in fact, not a heart attack or myocardial infarction.    EKGs are not necessarily required for students of any age who play sports. Although an EKG would have detected Brandon's cardiac diagnosis, in many, like my Daniel, it would not have.  Still, if just a few families could avoid losing their sons or daughter's suddenly, during sports or simply living their lives, this would be a task worth doing.
          ARVD/C is not the cause of all sudden death due to arrhythmia during sports, but it is a cause of a percentage of it.  This diagnosis is of genetic origin, and CAN be treated if the diagnosis is made. This is why it is particularly important for the family members of someone who experiences sudden death while playing sports to be examined by a university based cardiology team. For example, Brandon's arrhythmic death could have been detected and prevented by EKG and intervention, whereas our Daniel's likely could not have been detected prior to the event itself.
           Athletic model Krissy Taylor also died from this diagnosis, which was detected on autopsy.

           Brandon's parents and his brother Derek have started the Brandon Goyne Foundation. Its goal is to make EKGs available to everyone who plays school sports in order to detect as many potential Brandons  out there as possible. In addition, the family wishes to bring to the attention of schools, coaches and families that everyone who plays sports should have an EKG first.     They have details about this on Facebook.


          More information on The Goyne Foundation .


This is additional reading on ARVD/C:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/heart_vascular_institute/clinical_services/centers_excellence/arvd/index.html

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrhythmogenic_right_ventricular_dysplasia

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/heart_vascular_institute/clinical_services/centers_excellence/arvd/_pdf/arvd_2013_summer_newsletter.pdf

Of Roses and Carnations: A Friend Went Home

                

 
    I have a friend whose birthday was earlier this month.  I spent her birthday with her and we had a great visit.  I took her a big batch of birthday flowers in the colors I knew she would like. I arranged them as she told me which flower faces should be in the front.  We reminisced about a number of things, and when I could see she was getting tired, I departed.  I remember asking her if there was anything she needed, and she asked for a large type Bible.   I asked if she needed me to get it that day, and since I visit each month, she said "no".  "Just get one and bring it next time you come". She was well and happy. I see now that this was important.  My friend had fought organized religion for a long time, and now was more interested in God's word, and in studying it. It is true that most atheists don't die as atheists.
                      Despite the fact that I had arranged for someone to call me if anything ever happened to my friend, no one did.   I got up this morning to find that my friend had died suddenly this week. I am stunned.   Normally, I have a strange sense when this is the last time that I am going to see a person.  Perhaps it's from so many years of having been a registered nurse.  Perhaps it's only pattern recognition.  Of course, I don't have this 100% of the time.  I felt nothing during our visit but the joy of seeing a friend for her birthday.  All I felt was understanding and relaxation, and I got as much, if not more, from our visit, as she did.  Part of me wants to cry in that I won't be able to visit my friend each month, and that her unconditional acceptance and encouragement is gone for me.   On the other hand, I want to smile that her passing was smooth and I am told easy, and I know she deserved a safe and comfortable passing.  Just for today, I am going to cry. I am going to miss her, and then I hope I will begin to see things as they really are.  She spent a life well lived here and stayed serene and graceful with a fair measure of herself intact despite a nasty and serious illness. I am proud of my eldest son who spent a great deal of time with her in these last few years, and I am pleased that I took the time to know her.
                      Make sure that you touch base with your friends, relatives, and those who mean much to you. We all pass, sometimes quickly and quietly.   I will miss you, my friend.

When Will the Heaven Begin ? A Book of Inspiration.

This is Ally Breedlove. You can see the family resemblance to Ben.

                  One of the most popular posts I have written about a person other than Daniel on this blog has been the post I wrote concerning Ben Breedlove.   Ben is a teen who was known to have had dilated cardiomyopathy, and who experienced numerous sudden death experiences in his teens.   Before he passed, Ben, who enjoyed his life immensely, conveyed on cards via video on You-tube, what his heavenly experiences were like for the rest of us. Ben passed away on Christmas Day, 2011.
                    This was an immensely kind thing for him to do.  His videos coincided with a difficult time I was having in terms of missing Daniel, and these videos, and the smiling face of this young man was immensely inspiring and supportive to me, and to thousands and thousands of other people also. Some of us had lost loved ones, and others grappled a potentially fatal illness.  Ben was an inspiration to us all.
                  I have always hoped that Ben's family would find a way to write a book about him, his times, and his experiences.  I think many people, besides myself suggested such a thing.  I learned this week that Ben's sister Ally has written such a book, which appears below.  I recommend it to anyone who has lost someone to Heaven, for inspiration in general and especially for those moments when faith seems thin.

  My earlier post on Ben Breedlove can be found here:

http://learnedfromdaniel.blogspot.com/2011/12/ben-breedloves-story.html



You can buy this book from Amazon at the following link:

It can be pre-ordered now, but will be broadly available October 29, 2013


http://www.amazon.com/When-Will-Heaven-Begin-Breedloves/dp/0451239644



               It comforts me to think that our Daniel, who passed of a rhythm disturbance that occurred spontaneously, is with Ben, who knew for an extended period that his enlarged heart predisposed him to potentially deadly sudden arrhythmic episodes.  It comforts me to consider the possibility that perhaps they are now friends.

Thinking of Jean Fogelberg

             

  When I was a teenager and in college, long before I had a beloved son named Daniel, I used to listen to the music of another Daniel.   Daniel Grayling Fogelberg was born in Illinois in 1951 to a Scottish mother and a father who was of Swedish descent.  He was the youngest of three sons. Although Dan Fogelberg never reached the pinnacle of fame most of his fans knew he so richly deserved, by virtue of talent, he defined the era with his songwriting, and in his treatment of the songs of others.   He so clearly gave direction to so many other artists. An attendee of The University of Illinois at Urbanna-Champaign, he majored in Theatre and Painting.  By 1972, he released his first album, Home Free, and began touring as an opening act for Van Morrison.  He went on to release a number of other albums Souvenirs, Captured Angel, Netherlands, Twin Sons of Different Mothers with Tim Weisberg. Then came,  The Phoenix, The Innocent Age.   Later,  Windows and Walls, High Country Snows, Exiles, The Wild Places, River of Souls, Portrait,  The First Christmas Morning, and Full Circle.  There are other albums if you include the compilations, work with Tim Weisberg and special CDs.  These albums were filled with everything from intelligent rock, incredible arrangements, to Bluegrass music, as well as the ballads for which he is so well known.  Dan was also a passionate friend of the natural environment, and was steadfastly against nuclear power use.

                Though Dan wrote and sang the music for the relationships and weddings for the rest of us, he found the veritable love of his life later in his life.  He and his wife Jean, also a singer, were happily married when Dan's advanced prostate cancer was discovered.in 2004.  Dan and his wife left their beloved ranch in Colorado and headed to California for the most advanced treatment. For a time, there had been a remission.  Dan and Jean left the ranch and moved to their home in beautiful Belle Isle, Maine, full time.  Jean has related that for many years their solitude was complete there, as they didn't have a telephone in the home.   I think Dan was always a little uncomfortable with the trappings of fame and that privacy was very important to him. In the mid 2000s, I saw Dan driving a truck in the vicinity of Cary Street in Richmond, Virginia.  I think he was uncomfortable having been recognized and pulled his ballcap farther down over his face. I later learned that he was likely there to visit his close friend Jimmy Buffett (Margaritaville) who lives in the area.  Dan did help to spread awareness of Prostate cancer, and to encourage men, even those under 50, to have a routine periodic PSA test.  Some people, including Dan Fogelberg believed that more lives can be saved if the PSA test, a simple bloodtest, is offered annually for men getting a routine physical every year starting at forty, rather than at 50, as is recommended for most.

                Dan Fogelberg passed at age 56 at home in Deer Isle, Maine, with his wife Jean with him, in December, 2007.  So many people who had never met him grieved knowing that the soundtrack to their own lives had changed forever.   Dan's ashes were scattered off the coast of Maine.

               Of course for me, my own beloved Daniel, died at age 12 1/2 the following year.  My Daniel was certainly familiar during his own life of the large body of work Dan Fogelberg left to us.  When you have time, please listen to some of the music Dan Fogelberg left to the Earth.   He is certainly known for Leader of the Band, and Longer, and many others, but there are far more obscure pieces which you should hear.  I will leave one them below, one less known, and another that is probably already known to you. I hope that my own Daniel has better luck in thanking Dan Fogelberg for all the wonderful music, where they both are now, than I did in Richmond that day.

               I often wonder how Jean Fogelberg is doing.  Life is hard when your Daniel has moved on ahead of you, of this I am sure.



This song was playing in my head all week...

Since You've Asked         ~  Dan Fogelberg's version of this song written by Judy Collins.







Update:  Jean Fogelberg is an accomplished artist and photographer who continues to produce quality work and have it shown. She divides her time between the two places she and Dan loved so much, the Colorado mountains and coastal Maine.  She also does many good works in the field of bereavement and caregiver support, and is notable to me for her great compassion, most of all.    I think her own Dan would be so incredibly  proud of her.   Jean used to be known as Jean Mayer-Dailey and is a co-author of the 1980s song "Power" performed by Berry Gordy, of Motown fame.

This was their home on Deer Isle Maine, until Dan's death.  It was 536 Reach Road.

The Ride Can Be Short and It Can Turn on a Dime

          

 My eldest son told me this week that he had run into an acquaintance we hadn't seen for a number of years. We had assumed she had moved.  It turned out that she hadn't.  The death of her husband had necessitated her return to work full time, and this had taken her away from the places where she might normally have seen us.  She was not only unaware of the passing of Daniel, but she didn't do particularly well with the news. She saw him quite a bit when he was three and four when we visited a particular shop often.
             I thought about all of this and realized what really goes without saying. This is a temporary trip. One hundred percent of us return to the God who sent us on this excursion. Sometimes such a return occurs without notice, and to a young person.  No one is guaranteed eighty or a hundred years on Earth.  Make sure that everyone you love knows it, and that they receive your best effort daily.  It could be a short ride.



Five for Fighting                                                   100 Years