Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bittersweet Christmas

You may not remember this Daniel, but it was two years ago this evening that we had your "Celebration of Life". So many children and homeschoolers who knew you came, that we worked hard to make it a celebration of your entrance to Heaven, rather than a terrible event marking our loss of you. Funerals are very strange times for families.I remember turning in an academy award performance that night, during your elegy, in part because I could feel you and Dad watching me, and your laughing at things that were said, and in part because I saw fear and sorrow on the faces of all those children and parents, and everyone we knew. I did not want the open casket type of memorial, and your Dad did, and so, since he asked so very little of this event, we did what he wanted. This was strange for me to have an open casket with so many children there, but I think you looked down that day, because over all, it was a very strange event for many reasons.
I try really hard not to remember that this is what this day was, so I booked it solid last year, and less conciously did the same this year. After running around, paying bills, doing errands etc., I finally did something relaxing in the evening. There is a new consignment boutique in town with rather lovely furnishings, toys, and high end clothing. It shares a beautiful interior with a lovely little cafe style restaurant. I had been wanting to take Stephanie there, and I thought it might be a good way of looking forward to something this Christmas, as I know you would want. We shopped for a little while, and bought a couple of small things, and a piece of wrought iron as a garden decoration. We decided to place the items in the car, and come back for either some coffee and dessert or a small sandwich. It was beginning to get dark and as we put our items in the car, I was careful to lock it, and arm the security system, as I noticed an elderly man watching us and noticing what we were putting in the car. Then we went in to the cafe portion and sat on some chairs at a table, close to the window. We wound up having some nice roast beef sandwiches rather than sweets. A few minutes later, we noticed two police officers quietly handcuffing a man and photographing a rather large collection of clothing, he apparently had with him. The police were very respectful and gentle with the man, the same elderly man who had been watching us, and our car. We had come out to forget what a sad day this is for us, before Christmas, when it was so incredibly cold that evening, and so shocking for us all. Instead, we saw an elderly man who from information we have now which, I should not mention in its entirety here, was habitually stealing at Christmas time,and who apparently had a weapon as well. Yes, Christmas is a difficult time for us. We miss you, and my Dad, and we work hard to continue the traditions we have. However, there are many who will spend this holiday alone in prisons or hospitals, and for whom the holiday will be worse for them than ours will be. Wish you were here in the flesh with us. Love you, Bug.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.