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Sunday, November 28, 2010
I did not sleep well last night. This morning, in about a half an hour, it will be exactly two years since you Daniel, walked into the bathroom, and your soul was called by God. We heard you fall, and we ran in and started immediate CPR. By the time the sheriff's office arrived and then the med-evac helicopter, I knew your body had not responded, and that you were gone from Earth. I stayed calm only because you needed my best that day, but I wanted to go with you. In the days that followed I did my best for your dad and for Stephanie, Adam and Matthew, but it was unquestionably the hardest actions and time I can recall, even with God close by that day.
I know that Heaven exceeds everything I ever told you about it. I know you are safe and that you are with my Dad, and that you can see our other relatives who passed before us. We all still miss you immensely.
Last night I had a dream that a package filled with my favorite Cadbury's chocolate arrived in the mail, but with the return address missing. The letter inside from the postal service said it had been "lost for an undetermined period of time". I opened it, and all of the chocolate wrapped animals, Father Christmases, umbrellas etc. were perfect. I thought that one of you had sent this to me before you passed, but the chocolate could not have been perfect. In the dream, I realized that this had been one more reminder that you, Dad, and all the ancestors look down on us and do care, as God does, for our trials, tribulations and sadness, as we attempt to navigate in an increasingly uncertain and bizarre world. I suppose sometimes I pretend I do not need your encouragements, but you, your messages and the messages from others are welcome anytime. We know we are not here alone.
We all, love you wider than the oceans,and deeper than the seas.