Friday, November 26, 2010


I have been thinking a lot lately about you Daniel in terms of your food likes and dislikes. Still, in stocking for the holidays in my regular moments, I still reach to grasp the one liter bottle of soda you would have preferred for the holiday.I still think about making the foods you would have liked best. I know that's silly, but a mother's programming and many of the changes she makes in bringing a child home, and then growing along side him, do not change.I am afraid my Daniel mode is forever. I will tell you one thing Daniel. Before you left, and when some food or drink was finished, the older children tended to try to blame you. "Daniel must have finished it", was their reply. Maybe blaming the youngest brother is a strategy in other families, especially teens, as well.Strangely, after your departure, the same amounts of food and drink were consumed, and on occasion, disappeared. When James joined us, the food consumption increased some more. You are therefore vindicated ! We know you weren't the person eating extra !
I remember that one of your favorite foods was lasagna of many types. You liked my lasagna in all of its different incarnations, and you liked the classic Stouffers as well. You liked my spinach lasagna, my vegetarian lasagna, my sausage lasagna, ground beef lasagna, experimental chicken lasagna, cheeseburger lasagna, and garden-vegetables-we-grew varieties as well. For someone who had completely clean coronary arteries in the country where half of twelve year olds have the beginnings of coronary artery disease, I realize now I could have fed you more of what you wanted. I miss your being happy about whatever I am serving, rather than, "Not that again" that I tend to hear now.

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