How I Go On Living

Yesterday I was remembering an important moment with Daniel. In 2008, in the autumn, we were called to tell us that my father was in a hospital ICU in another city. He was very ill and was failing. I stayed with him for about four days, but on one Saturday, I thought it would do my father good to see his grandchildren, so my husband and oldest son, drove everyone up from Virginia. It was a trip which took hours. During those hours of travel, my Dad who would have enjoyed the visit, deteriorated significantly. When the kids arrived, I knew he knew they were there, but he could not wake and speak with them, and being nurses kids, they all noticed and knew a great deal about the apparent deteriorating heart rhythm on Dad'scardiac monitor. It was Daniel,especially,who was upset. Outside Dad's glass hospital room in the ICU, Daniel stood, with tears pouring down his face. I went over to him and hugged him tightly. I knew somehow that I wanted to hold that moment both frozen in time, and in my heart forever. When we let go, I told Daniel, that it was alright. (My) Dad's body was wearing out and he could no longer stay with us here on Earth and it was soon time for him to go to Jesus, where he would be comfortable, safe, and start on a new set of tasks. Somehow I was able to comfort Daniel, with my absolute and total belief in the hereafter. Of course, just 31 days after Dad's passing, Daniel too was called by God, in a manner which remains unclear, even after autopsy and multiple autopsy reviews by other experts, with continuing studies looking for genetic illnesses in blood and DNA. I hope.....no I pray, that the courage I showed to Daniel that day at the hospital out of state, was courage that helped him when only a short time later, God called him home. Sometimes, I am not quite sure how I go on living