Animated Daniel or Toy Story 3 ?

Periodically I make a trip on the weekend to Sam's Club, in the city, about an hour and a half from here. With the price of fuel it is usually lumped with a number of other short trips at the same time. I bought the items I needed at Sam's and as I headed to the checkout I pushed the cart through the DVD section. I looked over and spied the new Toy Story 3 DVD. I grasped it thinking how much Daniel would enjoy it, and then I thought that it was not rational to continue to buy things for him. At that point,I imagined him saying, "Get it. YOU'LL ENJOY IT. I'll watch it with you." I gingerly put it in the cart,while feeling silly.
That evening, the family and I watched it, and it was indeed as if Daniel wanted us to. Daniel would have enjoyed this particular storyline very much, and many of the jokes. Daniel also had all of the toys from the Toy Story series. In Toy Story 3, Andy, the child to whom all the toys belong,has grown to 18, and is leaving for college, and must make some decisions as to whether to donate his beloved toys or not. As some of you know, Daniel,although he was 12 1/2 at his passing was evaluating and visiting colleges, and could have attended one fairly soon. The main character in Toy Story 3, Andy, looked a great deal as Daniel looked before his passing. In addition, to Daniel a really gifted animator in his own right, the Toy Story series was important to him as a future student of kinetic imaging, which was one of his considered majors in college . Seeing a young man who closely resembled him as an animated being was especially touching. I watched the feature, and tears fell down my face for so many reasons. Perhaps Daniel did watch this with us. Perhaps simply the memory of Daniel loving Toy Story 1 and 2 so much was a potent reminder. It certainly felt as if he set it up, and was there. Incidentally, all of Daniel's toys and computers, remain in his room, where we all visit, watch his DVDs, play with his computer, lie on his bed, and talk to him.



"Toy Story 3" and photos of same are material owned by Pixar Inc.

The Busy Autumn

These are strange days. Once again, we are are between the anniversary of my father's passing, Octobers end, and Daniel's passing, at November's end. This time causes me to focus on those days in 2008 when they both passed. Dad's passing was expected, and honestly, Dad was no longer comfortable and safe within his own body. It was time to depart for Heaven, and his stresses in that time were related to my taking over the tasks that he had done so well. How could Daniel have passed a month later, without my knowing there was something seriously wrong ? Two years of ruminating over this, and of autopsy reports and specialized testing has brought me no closer than "God called him", the pathologist's first statement. Even the genetic testing at the Mayo Clinic has turned up nothing.
So, we survive by loving the children we have left, and each other, and by remembering and living the loving legacy that both Dad and Daniel brought to us each in different ways.
This weekend was packed full. We spent a big chunk of it moving Dad's remaining possessions from one storage to another for added security, diminished expense, and also as we decide where it's final place should be. Dad was a fairly famous world explorer in his day, and before my own passing, I need to make sure that his papers, writings, and some of his possessions relating to this time find their way into the appropriate museum where they will be cared for and respected in a long term manner. I wish I knew enough about all of the things he did and all of his travels sufficient to write a book, but I don't feel comfortable enough to write a biography on his behalf. I may not give adequate weight to some things, and Dad was an intensely private man, and I don't want to confide things he had intended only to be known by us. It certainly would be a test of our psychic link though.
After the busy weekend, my husband and I took all our remaining children and two of their friends who'd helped out to dinner. It was a new restaurant that hasn't yet had its grand opening, and eight people coming in for dinner threw them I think. The restaurant is in a location in which another restaurant once existed, and Daniel enjoyed the original restaurant in its earlier incarnations very much. (They had changed very little in the interior) I almost felt them with us as we had a wonderful dinner in a harried and haphazard manner. One of Adam's friends came with us and he is considering entering the military. I would very much like him to remain here and not subject himself to the hazards of military service but I was reminded of my father, and I don't think anyone could have dissuaded him either in his youth.
I did receive some joy yesterday though. I had wondered if James would ever really personally connect to our family. Adoption at 14 is tough. In a sense I believe he sees himself here until he departs and goes on with his life elsewhere, perhaps never really connecting here. As we unloaded Dad's equipment, photos, scrapbooks etc. James was tranfixed. This adventurous spirit, my father, became HIS grandfather ! I could feel Dad smiling as James was fascinated by Dad's antique typewriter collection. I could feel Daniel smiling and telling me that this was the plan, as James expressed an interest in some of Dad's books. Perhaps the connection is beginning. These are still bittersweet times.