A Visit to the Doctor

Today I had a doctors appointment with my internist, a very bright woman. Being an RN and college instructor myself who teaches courses with medical applications, etc. having a doctor I trust and who is truly bright has always been of importance, and has sometimes been a challenge. The appointment went well and I am apparently quite stable medically. She put a fair amount of time into assessing how I am coping with the loss of Daniel. I told her the truth which is that at the six month mark in some ways it is as hard as in the beginning. His physical presence has now missed a Christmas, a Winter, A Spring, his thirteenth birthday, Mother's Day and his sister's graduation from college. Even when you accept that he exists and is alive and dwelling with God, it's tough on those who are left here. I miss hugging him, talking to him and watching him smirk, smile or even roll his beautiful eyes. I told her that I belong to a number of mother's Bereavement Support groups but that I didn't know how helpful they really were. It's easy to get stuck in a phase of grief when you have peers in which to stick there with you. I also accept and understand that friendships you made only because you have the loss of a child in common, and with people you might not have been friends with normally, are not likely to survive long term. I believe that true friendship must have more than terrible pain, loss or grief in common. The doctors verdict is that I am, in fact, surviving.